Reply to How do you reconcile the reality of your aging body with the memory of your younger self?

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Reply to "How do you reconcile the reality of your aging body with the memory of your younger self?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah, I am old and not as attractive as I once was, but I have a fairly demanding job that I like, 2 teenagers, and a volunteer commitment, and so I don't really dwell on this type of navel-gazing.[/quote]

That's great that you're so confident.  But what if, next fall, your department was reorganized due to a merger, lay offs were implemented, and your Job That You Like was ripped away from you at age 55 because of ageism.  You just don't look as healthy-good as the 30 yr old who replaced you, although you are most certainly more competent.

I know, I know, you'll claim you'd still be so awesome!! due to your teens and your super strong marriage.  [/quote]

NP here, but come on!! How we think about things makes a huge difference. So you are begrudging PP an optimistic, positive outlook?
Should she succumb to negativity and despair? You are really being snarky with her about her choice to focus on what is good in her life?

Yes, of course terrible things COULD happen. If she loses her job, she'll deal with that transition if and when it happens. But until that moment, all she has is moment she's living in, and she should try to enjoy it, FFS.

I'm 45 and my body is changing - I don't look the same as I did and it's very hard. But the person I was in my youth is still part of me; my physical appearance isn't everything. Believe me, I'm not immune to looking at myself in the mirror and feeling pretty terrible about it. But all you can do is sigh, and accept the inevitability of it, and move on with your day.  Fighting it is such a waste of energy.

I do what I can - exercise, eat right, and find meaning in the day to day. When my father died at 68, it really knocked the wind out of me and hammered home that all we have is the moment. The things that give me pleasure are much less grand - the sunset on my evening walk, a dinner out with my family, a laugh with a friend. I no longer take anything for granted. This helps me a lot when I start to panic that the clock is ticking, my life is half over if I'm lucky and I'm not a beauty like I was before.

So OP, try to figure out what is meaningful to you at this stage in your life. Look in the mirror, feel what you feel but just shrug your shoulders and move on.
Do whatever you can do look and feel healthy and just focus on the day at hand - that's all we have.

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