Reply to Wife having mid-life crisis and not sure how to respond

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry to say this but if she's this bad off, she probably needs to go through the process of having an affair, waking up and realizing that trying to find personal happiness in others will never work, discovering that her marriage and family mean something to her, being newly grateful for said marriage, finding a vocation in volunteering or yoga which eventually leads to paid employment.

It's a cliche for a reason OP. If you love her, I'd recommend looking the other way while this goes on. You'll be better off when you're on the other side.[/quote]

I disagree.  An affair only makes matters about billion times worse.  Then you not only get to deal with aging, you get to deal with the guilt of being a dishonorable person too.

Stay out of the bars.[/quote]

A lot of people won't or can't learn except through their own experience. We can tell her till she's blue in the face that an affair won't help BUT that's not going to stop most women in this position. She's insecure and hurting and probably feeling her mortality in a real way for the first time. The passion and excitement of a new affair will feel like it's reviving her and make her feel young again. That's why people do it. That's why it's a cliche! Affairs do make things worse but they also have a way of clearing the decks and making you seeing reality clearly again. If a couple can hold on through the worst of it, their marriages typically emerge even stronger than before.[/quote]

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