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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is struggling with her loss of identity in two ways:

She's no longer the young pretty one. She's still pretty/ but she's now "pretty for 42." It's a huge hit to your ego.

She's also no longer the mom to young kids. That is a stage that when you're in it feels like you'll never leave it and then one day you realize that as you were living it, day by grueling day, the years past and that stage is done. She's now the mom of elementary kids and as she gets older, they do, and one day they will have their own life and won't want/need her at all.

I know this because I'm not there yet but I get glimpses sometimes and will feel anxiety building. She's entering the second half of her life and that's tough for women who have built an identity around being young, pretty, and a mom of young kids. She very much needs to find a hobby or volunteer cause or job that will give her back her confidence ("I'm good at this too!"), fill her time, and help her forge the identity that will replace the ones she's lost. [/quote]

A lot of women pretend to themselves that looks don't matter and that they don't care if others find them attractive. This is a lie we tell ourselves. When the factor that earned you a lot of positive, unsolicited attention ALL your life starts to go, it's very painful. Let's face it. No matter how feminist or egalitarian men say they are, 9/10 still go for the prettiest girls. OP was probably one of them.[/quote]

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