Reply to My son's wife does not work.....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here: Look I really am not trying to attack her. She has done so much for my son. He's no longer a pot head because of her, she found him his current job when he was unhappy with his last, she took care of everything involved in buying their current house. He is in a very good place because of her and they both seem very happy together. I just don't get why she doesn't work. I'm also not the pp complaining about no grand kids, I already have grand kids through my other son. I don't understand why they don't want kids, but I'm not playing the I will never have grand kids card. I just don't want my son to support someone for the rest of his life.    [/quote]

I think you need to re-examine the intent behind your feelings.  So many moms say your same story 'I'm just worried for my son' but that's a lie they tell themselves to justify they can't stand losing their son's sole attention.  Your son has found love and happiness with someone and yet you can't be happy for him, why?  Likely because you can't bring yourself to see him as a grown man, because it means letting go of you being the most important person in his world. You can't handle the adjustment to treating your son as an adult.  This would also explain why you failed at raising your son to be a grown man.  She had to do that work for you.  You should frankly be down on your knees thanking her for this.  It's a little sad for him, because his mom is too selfish to be happy for him, and that causes him such sadness, I bet.  But he will choose her over you because, luckily, you didn't screw him up that badly.  So mostly it's sad for you, because you are trapped in the past and refuse to get to know and respect the grown man your son has become, which means respecting the decisions and life he enjoys.  
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