Reply to Help me navigate this childcare situation with my husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I don't understand why you can't just leave the kid that he needs to drop off with him. If he doesn't drop kid off and stays home, your DH will be taking care of child. You absolutely don't need to be late for work for this.[/b]

I think you should find place for both kids and closer to home.[/quote]

+1 - this

It shouldn't even be an option for him to refuse to bring one kid to daycare and for you to argue with him.  It really is like when your kids start to argue with you over something that is their responsibility to do.  When I feel myself getting sucked in, I realize I have to stop engaging.  I'm not going to explain, plead, try to counter what they are saying, get so frustrated I just do it myself (which honestly just would reward their behavior and encourage more of the same). It comes down to "you make a choice".  You can either follow thru with your responsibilities or you have the consequences of not following thru with your responsibilities.  Until you let him feel the consequences of his actions he has absolutely no incentive to change.

First, he has to deal with bringing the kids in for his 3 mornings.  When he finds himself with the kids at home while he is trying to work or being late to work he will either go to bed earlier, go to a doctor if he thinks this is a medical problem, find a different job where he can get started 10am or that has even less of a commute, figure where in the budget something can get cut so he can hire someone to help get the kids out in the morning etc.  You shouldn't be telling him which change to make, he needs to be motivated to make a change that fits the tradeoffs he is willing to make.  I too am not a morning person and am a night owl but I had to figure out for myself what worked for me.  I try to keep my work commute reasonable so I don't have to get up early for work and can pick up the kids easily if they need to go home sick or early closure due to snow.  Even with that I wasn't until I got on an alternative schedule where I have every other Friday off plus WFH one day that I was really motivated to get up earlier and get to bed earlier.  The payoff for me is having that one day I two weeks when I have free time to myself to read, relax, sometimes do errands etc.  Before I had that, I felt like the Dunkin Donuts commercial "time to make the donuts" when I would tey to go to bed early (with very little me or downtime) in order to get up early to just repeat the process all over again.  But the key is my DH couldn't tell me to get a job close, go to bed early, get on an alternative schedule, I had to figure those things out for myself.  He also may make different decisions on how to balance his work, family, and down time. The key though is you don't get to shirk your parenting duties or work responsibilities while you figure things out - that isn't an option on the table.[/quote]

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