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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We've come within a hair's breath of filing for a restraining order against my estranged mother, who has stalked us in person and on line (and gone into our house when we weren't there, lying to our contractor to get his key while he was out -- not his fault).

We decided to go on vacation with all of my cousins. [b]As a condition of our going, I told all of the cousins they could not let her know I would attend.[/b] It's a small beach town and even without our address, she could find us because there's only one main commercial strip and one public beach. Based on her past behavior, it is completely possible she'd drive to that town and troll the main drag and beach until she finds us. That would be unacceptable-- she's a psychopath and it's been a rough road for all of us.

Only one cousin even speaks to her. It's strained my relationship with her but I've made peace with the fact that she doesn't believe what I say - probably because my mother gives her gifts.

[b]Anyway, vacation is two weeks away and cousin lets me know my mother knows the town and dates, but not the address. She does not apologize and actually gaslights me for telling her she is at fault for defying my wishes. [/b]

Now we simply can't go. This was the only vacation we could afford. It would be unfair to make the other cousins pay for our share. Now my kid won't have a vacation and neither will we.

There's nothing to be done, and I'll probably get slammed here by people who can't believe there are mothers who stalk or that this isn't somehow my fault.

At this point I just have to give up on having a family vacation with anyone and I've got to drop this cousin. If she can't honor an explicit promise not to tell my mother, she isn't someone I can safely have in my life. [/quote]

Send an email or PM to all of the cousins:
Sorry, folks.  My one condition on going was that my mother not be told that I would be joining the vacation.  Unfortunately, Larla told my mother that we would be going to the beach with everyone and since my mother has been stalking us and broken into our home, we now have to back out of the vacation to avoid her.  We're sorry we have to back out and upset we'll lose our vacation, but you'll have to work with Larla to cover our portion of the rentals.[/quote]

This x 100.  Stress that the safety of your family has been compromised b/c of cousin's disclosure.  Do not offer to pay your portion.[/quote]

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