Reply to What mattered with your kids in the long run?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Teaching them from a very young age that if everything is equal then nothing is special. That fair does not mean everyone gets the exact same thing; fair means everyone gets most of their needs met at different times and different ways.

Don't fight over food. [/quote]

Sounds like gibberish - or a convoluted excuse not to make the effort to be genuinely "fair"[/quote]

Equal is not fair.

We are not a society of animatrons Exactly. Like. One. Another.

We all have different needs.

My kids don't bean count. They don't whine about "it's not fair!" They are happy for.their siblings successes and they understand that each of them has different needs.

I have friends who jump through hoops to make sure everything is 100% equal every time.  And when shit happens and things aren't completely equal, their kid shave trouble handling it and/or mom tears herself up feeling guilty.

All of my kids get their true needs met. Their want-"needs" are all met in different ways on different timelines.

If you are making everything equal for your kids under the guise of "fairness" then you are doing them a huge disservice.[/quote]

Maybe. It can also be an elaborate justification for favoring one child over another.  I have friends who do this and this is probably what they tell themselves.  The fact that you're so adamant about it makes me wonder.  No, every day doesn't need to meet a fairness balance test.  But it should over the course of a month or so.  Otherwise, you're teaching your child that he r she doesn't matter as much as their sibling.  I see this all the time, and it breaks my heart. [/quote]

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