Reply to When to downsize? When kids leave for college or later?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I think the PP was saying that you can't move on with your own life and then expect the kids to take up where you left off and do things as you would like to see them done. They have a right to live their own lives.

I am a new poster.  I agree with you both up to a point but, wouldn't it be nice if the "adult children" had a few years of shared responsiblity for a Thanksgiving or Christmas to repay their parents in some way for all the entertaining they did while growing up?  For example, it was tradition for my DH and his family to alternate between his parents and his Aunt and Uncle's house for Thanksgiving.  As a married couple and then with kids we went as well.  Maybe not every year but, a good amount of times.

Flash forward to two years ago and I knew they weren't up to hosting so my DH and I invited the Aunt and Uncle as well as DH's mom ( Father passed away) over to our house for Thanksgiving.   It wasn't done their way but, we all had a good time.

We were willing to do it a few years but, this year they decided to visit their own children.  However, I am glad we at least did it a few times to thank them.  I'm sure the 'passing the torch" person wouldn't mind new traditions but, I can see why she would be tired.[/quote]

I hate the obligatory "repaying" that you are referring to.  It is one thing if someone *wants* to carry on with family traditions, quite another to be expected to step into those shoes.

Some folks are natural hosts and other folks have a hard time with that sort of thing.  It's o.k. to establish new traditions.[/quote]

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