Reply to Fiance oblivious to his son's issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd think titling it that my fiance is oblivious would indicate I do not think he's the perfect dad.

He asked one time to borrow the birth certificate and ss card for about 8 hours (when he came over on a Sunday) so he could make copies. I did not realize that was overly onerous and sexist.

I never suggested going to court to get a court order to have her tell us about every doctor appointment. What I have suggested to him is document all the times she has been uncooperative, refused to let him see him, the school issues, etc.

She chose this school in a different county than the one she lives in (she used a family member's address) and is under performing compared to the one he should've attended, because she "wants him to go to school there." Verbatim, the reason gave when asked. [b]There are no special services being offered there. And he gets good grades. So if there are, then they certainly wouldn't go to him, when half the school is free/reduced lunch and ESL.[/b] When my fiance said that he would sign him up for school where we live and he can stay with us M-F and we can make sure he gets to/from school on time, she declined.

But if this is the resistance I'm getting from strangers online, than I am certainly not going to push the issue with him. Maybe another family member will say something next time we are at a family function.[/quote]

EVERY TIME YOU POST YOU PROVE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. The bold is *laughable* in its ignorance. [/quote]

Really? Because I have several friends that are teachers. And the kids in their classes that are getting decent grades and not getting in trouble do not get the attention or resources that other students get who do have difficulties. Is that not true?[/quote]

I think you are confusing two different situations.  In the general education classroom, for all kids who have not been identified as a student with a disability and given an IEP or 504, what you describe -- that kids who are having difficulties get more attention -- does happen.  It is a normal choice about how to expend resources. If all kids have to get over an academic bar, and some can do so easily on their own and others need help, then, of course, the ones who need help are more likely to get it and the ones who can do it on their own are pretty much left, more or less, on autopilot.

But, what PPs are describing is something different -- a child who has been diagnosed as having a disorder which "adversely impacts education," and are therefore defined under the law as "disabled".  These "disabled" students have a federal right to be "accommodated" or be given "special instruction" so that they too have equal access to and benefit from public education.  BTW, "adverse impact on education" is not determined solely by "grades" or "passing".  It is an analysis that takes into account the variety of educational tasks.  For example, a highly functional autistic kid who is passing with good grades may still be given an IEP because he has difficulty socially in school and this creates problems in class participation and/or group work.  That child's IEP may provide for special instruction and support in learning social expectations and communication.

A student CAN be getting decent grades and not be getting in trouble and STILL qualify as a "disabled" student who needs accommodation or special instruction.  My DS always got As and Bs, even though he has ADHD, a specific learning disability and slow processing issues.  He has a relatively high IQ and is able to compensate for his disabilities in a lot of ways, but he still has an IEP.  The accommodations and special instruction he gets help him benefit from education in all the ways that a neurotypical child can.

BTW, I put "disabilities" in quotes because, of course, these kids are often very able, but just not able in the ways that school expects.  [/quote]

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