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[quote=Anonymous]Because your mother has no filter and tells everyone she meets whatever is on her mind, your answer may be different than what it would be otherwise. My father is like that, and I don't share anything personal with him - nothing that I would mind if he told a waiter or a person he was waiting in line with, or friends of his who have met me and who I'll see again.  He tells me about other people's regrets about their lives, their family fights, their custody problems, their health issues.  I don't want him doing the same about me - there are some health issues he knows about that he is likely telling everyone he meets (some I told him about years ago before I realized he was like this, some I had to tell him because I was going to have surgery and felt he should know), but I don't share details and I don't tell him much.

Essentially, your choice will come down to whether you are OK with her telling everyone. Or can she be trusted, if you specifically tell her that it is private medical information and you don't want it shared, to keep from discussing it?

If it weren't for that factor, I'd say to tell her either now so she can get over it when she meets the baby, or to tell her after the baby is born and she has fallen in love with her.  And in either case to use language like people have suggested to let her know you don't want to talk about her feelings about it -- you could say that you have your own feelings about it to work through and you would like her to talk it out with her husband or close friends but not with you, but that in any case you love this baby with all of your heart and she is your baby.

If you decide not to tell her, you'll need to be ready to just go along when she says how the baby's smile looks like Cousin Megan and her eyes look like Uncle John's.  (You don't have to explicitly agree if you don't want to, you can just say "I can't see anything but her own sweet self," or you can mm-hmm it, or whatever works for you.)

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