Reply to Bat Mitzvah invitation - DD's classmate's mom RSVP'd yes (WWYD)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe she's just intending to go to the service, which would be fine - services in a temple are open to everyone off the street. *I* could attend your daughter's bat mitzvah. [/quote]

That is rude unless you are invited or a member of the temple. [/quote]

I guess it depends on your temple - where I come from, it's a Saturday morning Shabbat service, so anyone who wants to attend THAT, does. If there happens to be a bar or bat mitzvah going on during that service, so be it. There were lots of people at my bat mizvah that I didn't really know. Some were there because they're more observant and always showed up on Saturdays, some were there for mourner's Kiddush, some were there because they want to be a kind face in the congregation for the rabbi when s/he looks out, etc.

I'm sorry you aren't a member of a more welcoming temple. [/quote]

Yes, at my shul, a small one, I was told that whatever I did for kiddish had to accommodate 40 people before counting my own.  People are there for a whole host of easons.  Kiddish doesn't have to be the elaborate smoked fish extravaganza I chose to do. It could just be some challah and honey cake.

But whatever you do, you have to remember that this is a service and not a performance. People will come because it is Saturday. Some will come because they like your kid.  Some will come because they are hungry.  That is what we do.
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