Reply to My boyfriend has a "Friend"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My first husband became obsessed with a woman nearly 20 years older than him.  After 8 months of that, I gave up and moved out.  I was no longer a priority.   Then fast forward 30 years into a second marriage.  As you expressed shock about finding out about this relationship on his phone, so was I shocked when I found out my husband was texting and emailing a female coworker constantly for over two years.   The intimacy was with her.  I did not even know he was working with her.  It has taken nearly 4 years to get over this whole thing.  I believe you would be better to cut things off now and focus on your child, education, and getting a job.[/quote]

This is true.  It can take a long time to recover, I think, because the husband in this case, probably has little understanding for the feelings this generates.  Feeling unsafe, not valued, basic assumptions about the relationship questioned, trust, openness, and more, even if there wasn't actual physical cheating.[/quote]

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