Reply to This stepmonster gem from Carolyn Hax

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^^ It is NOT being treated like a second class citizen to save the mother's estate for her actualy children that she created the estate for.

Nor is it being treated like a second class citizen for the step mom to not be allowed to spend her husband's children's inheritance on a big fancy house in Chevy Cahse or similarly overpriced neighborhood for herself and her own potential future children.

You probably need to do a values reassessment stepmom if you feel so passionately that this money is your money to spend.[/quote]

You don't think the mom's estate should be used to pay for her own children's daily expenses?  To pay for their food, camps, and the like?  Oh, all of those many expensive items should be paid for equally out if the dad's marital property with his wife, right?  So long as the teenagers get to stay in private school for the entirety of their education.  And if a stepmother says she wants a bigger house, it must mean a big, overdone Chevy Chase mansion, not just a bigger house capable of housing additional children in a better school district.  It's perfectly normal to think of buying a bigger house and moving to district where public schools are strong as a couple thinks of having additional children.  And I'd guess that the stepmom's salary has been joined with her husband's and us being useful pay hit his daughters' lifestyle.   I don't at all condone the way the stepmother in the article raised the situation with the kids. That is completely inappropriate.  But it is very expensive to raise children, as we all know ourselves, and from reading all of the threads.   And it is stressful.   Stepparents take on and a Normas burden, and are so often identified as the bad guy.   But nobody is asking why the dad felt free to remarry if that would distract attention and money from his daughters if they were so fragile.  Nobody is recognizing that the stepmother's work and time have been contributed to the daughter's well-being. All that is seen is a woman attempting to take, take, take. Without any view as to what she has probably given. [/quote]

Step mother made a choice to join a family.

The kids did not choose her and they definitely did not choose to have their mom die.

I know that as the step mom you want everything your way at tue expense of the step kids.

But no matter how you keep reframing it, you are still wrong.[/quote]

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