Reply to I'm on the verge of divorce, talk me down

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a SAHM to a 2 year old. It's hard. All day I'm. Cleaning up messes. But I enjoy staying home and my dh prefers it. I love my dh but he is always making messes. As soon as he comes home from work the messes begin. He leaves his shoes out, leaves lights on, leaves cabinet door opens, opens stuff out and leaves packaging on the floor, puts stuff in the freezer without closing the packaging. His job is to do the dishes but he constantly forgets to load all the fishes, doesn't pre-rinse them good enough for them to be clean, etc.

I know this seems small but it's driving me crazy. I have to be home all day, and for once I'd like to wake up in the morning to order before my toddler rips everything apart. Or not have to spend every moment of my life cleaning up after someone. Is this something stupid to divorce over? I've talked dh about it a million times. [/quote]

OP, like most women in your situation, you are probably completely disorganized with the household chores and child care and waste lots of time during the day.  So when your husband gets home from work, the house is still a wreck because you haven't done anything all day.    His job isn't to do the dishes--that's your job.   Your toddler doesn't rip everything apart, and if he does, it's because you're not very good at your "job" of being a SAHM.   You don't spend every moment of your life cleaning up after someone.

Have you ever timed yourself?  Actually timed yourself what you actually do during the day?  I would be very surprised if you actually spent more than 3 or 4 hours doing anything useful during the time that your husband is at work.  Stop talking to your husband a million times and get back to work.[/quote]

Are you kidding?  
Pls log in to our drop cams can check out my spouse come home from work to a clean have and make it a pigsty all on his own accord. Bottle opener there, empty Amazon box on the counter, keys/wallet/phone on the table, 3 pair of shoes in the hallway, empty 9pm yogurt left on the couch, crumbs on the counter from another snack time, backpack in the kitchen corridor, mail plopped down forever, dirty cups out on the counter, dirty underwear from 7am on the bathroom floor, unmade bed with 4 squashed pillows, earplugs on the floor for the baby to eat, folded laundry on his dresser stays for a week then ends up on the floor as it is picked through, empty ketchup/beer/wine containers stay out, bills everywhere getting lost, paid bills and important stuff in his office never filed, last oil change who knows, etc,etc etc.

I asked him if he'd like a housekeeper to come 3x a week to pick up after him and he got angry.  Funny thing the only semi-respectful solution to living with a selective slob. [/quote]

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