Reply to Is it okay to divorce a remorseful cheater when you have kids?

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Reply to "Is it okay to divorce a remorseful cheater when you have kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=LydianWells][quote=Anonymous]OP, if you ask anonymous posters whether you should divorce a cheater, everyone is going to say yes.  They see cheater = evil.  They don't know your husband and his good vs. bad qualities.  Most importantly, they don't have to deal with the fallout of divorce and all the effects. No one call tell you when it is ok to divorce a spouse.  One who will only have duty sex once a week?  One who won't go on date nights?  Won't save for kids college funds?  All of these are deal breakers for some, and not others and that's ok. Wife and I had our rough patches, and I posted here years ago and had many people say "divorce!"  My best advice to you - read some divorce blogs.  Read what it's really like to go through a divorce and real world consequences.  Then, you can make a decision with your eyes wide open and make the best out of a bad situation with no great options.[/quote]

I must agree with this post because telling someone else to divorce is easy when they don't know all the facts involved. He gave you the BEST advice ever and that is read what it is really like to go through a divorce, start all over and live separately while raising your children. I thought taking the road of divorce would solve all our problems and for the next ten years found out that trying to heal myself, my sons, and restore a resemblance of a family nearly broke me in half.

There is a divorce rule that says for every two years of marriage it takes one year of healing. Looking back, the energy it took to rebuild my life could have been spent on making that marriage last. Many times I have regretted my decision to break our family apart. Guess what, I was the one who had the affair and divorced my husband. Oh, how I wish I had listened to his pleas to make things right, despite him also telling me the affair was a deal breaker. God blessed me with a new husband and restored family with my sons, but not without years of their resentment against me. My advice is to fight for the family you want, and work long and hard on the marriage you already have and to continue going to counseling. Someday everything will fall in place. Keep up your faith![/quote]

NP. Thanks so much for posting this  !![/quote]

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