Reply to Help! Dating question: are my expectations wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]op, there's a lot of variety out there.  personally, in my early 30s, I definitely hold off on any significant sexual activity for at least 5 or 6 dates to ensure that we are a good personality match.  if that's a problem for a guy, I'd rather move on to someone else.  the personality match is more important now that I'm older and dating to marry rather than just for fun and companionship. I'm looking for an adult man who can control himself and isn't ruled by his appetites.  but most important is the personality match.  if I want sex I can get it easily.  I'm looking for lifetime compatibility and someone who can't wait a few extra weeks isn't the kind of partner I'm interested in.  so just hang in there a little longer.  what's the big rush?[/quote]

this is helpful (OP here). i'm not even talking sex though, or even clothes off. just talking about why a woman would be interested in continuing to date if she seems more keen on weak hugs to end the evening than a kiss on the lips. i would think that as a woman (or a man for that matter) enter their 30s, they would want to at least try and find out if there's any chemistry there around date #3 or so. [/quote]

Maybe garlic breath?  More likely those particular women didn't think you were a good match.  Alternatively, perhaps they are aware of the 3rd date expectation and deliberately keeping the temperature low.  Myself, I simply don't enjoy sex with someone I barely know.  So even if I like someone, I keep it nonphysical for a long time.  I show my interest through spending time together.  If that's not ok with him, bye bye.

Regardless, the only thing you can do is continue to spend time with women whose company you genuinely enjoy.  And when you find someone, don't blow it up by pushing her boundaries.  Unfortunately, women have to carefully avoid the types of men who are venting their misogyny all over this thread.  [/quote]

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