Reply to Why do so many men feel entitled to sex within a marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a young woman, I don't get it.  Like did you get married solely thinking you would get laid regularly?  Cause that just seems so... dumb.  Messed up.  Awful.

Then they put pressure on their wives, who dont feel like having sex, and try to coerce or pressure them into it.  Why?  Because the dude wants to have sex.

I see so much outrage about Brock Turner and no one seems to be talking about this different aspect of rape culture which is that husbands are entitled to their wives bodies?  When they want it?

And it's so bizarre to me.  Like.... how is this a thing?  In today's modern world?

Women are still expected to lie back and think of England?  For reals? [/quote]

A few points.  First, reasonable efforts to meet one's spouse's sexual needs/desires is implicit in monogamy.  Few would agree to an arrangement where they simultaneously agree that one person is to be their sole sexual partner for the rest of their lives AND that that person can unilaterally decide later that the relationship is no longer to be a sexual one.  That's not a reasonable interpretation of marriage, absent some sort of explicit agreement.   Second, sex has traditionally been understood to be part of marriage; indeed many religious traditions include a spousal obligation to have sex running in favor of BOTH women and men. While not an expert, I believe that to be true in both Jewish and Islamic traditions, for example.

Note of this justifies rape or coercion, of course, in the same way that if someone breaches a contract with me, I am not then entitled to assault them or to break into their house to take money or property I can use to be made whole.  But it is a far cry from "rape culture" that many men expect marriage to be a sexual relationship, when that has been the traditional, implicit, and often explicit assumption about the nature of marriage.  While a man's only legitimate remedy in those cases is to leave the marriage, he is perfectly justified in doing so when the sex disappears.  
 
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