Reply to My husband is suicidal. I'm a mess.

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[quote=Anonymous]DW here and a view from the other side. This hits home because I had a serious suicide attempt 10 years ago this week after developing severe PPD. DH stuck with me while I recovered, and I am so thankful. But, I had to make the decision to get better and follow through. I still see a therapist every week, and have a psychiatrist and take meds. And I got good treatment for DH and DCs, not myself, especially at first. But over time, things got much, much better.

So from my point of view, you're in the "for worse" part of the marriage vows, and you need to do what you can to help DH, but he has to help himself.  Go see a therapist and get professional support and help working through your options.  Once you feel stable and well grounded, you lay down the law for DH: he gets appropriate treatment or you leave. You have the right to know what is going on with his treatment. Not everything he says to his therapist, but the names of his treatment providers and the basics of his treatment plan.  That he agrees to follow.

FWIW, I had no problems keeping a security clearance, despite a suicide attempt while on government health insurance. . In fact, no one every specifically asked, and I have not had to disclose. Things have changed such that they would rather have you in treatment. A security clearance is not a legit excuse to not get treatment.

I'm sorry you are going through this, just like I am sorry I put DH through hell. [/quote]

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