Reply to Stop it with 'gaslighting' and 'borderline'

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will say that I get a little surprised when I see BPD bandied about on this board because the examples used, like the narcissistic MILs, seem so far removed from my BPD-diagnosed sibling.

Perhaps her case is extreme, but my BPD sister is so far from being able to have a relationship long enough to marry and raise children, or hold down any kind of job, or even live on her own, that the annoying MILs I read about seem to exist on another planet. Again, my understanding of the disease is limited to my own experience and there must be a spectrum of the disorder, but overuse of the term can belittle those who truly have a crippling problem.[/quote]

My perspective is somewhere in between.

My diagnosed BPD brother is completely incapable of relationships. He's got a comorbid mood disorder and the combination of the two things and his childhood trauma result in his being a complete shut in with no life or prospects.

In my years supporting him in therapy -- a condition of his probation on drug charges-- I've been told by his doctor (he signed a release so I could fill in the blanks of childhood memories he's suppressed) that our mother is NPD and demonstrates psychopathy. she is very high functioning. She runs a business. She can seem charming before she alienates people. And she is from a generation and traditional background where marriages take place very early and divorce is frowned upon. So she's managed to remain married for decades.

A person with a personality disorder can be high functioning. Generally their kids won't be-- I got lucky and got out of there. [/quote]

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