Reply to S/O: Ladies - Would you have sex more often

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So much of the male complaining about this issue boils down to: "why can't a woman be more like a man?"

Women are not men. The average woman's sex drive is less than a man's, and the average woman is aroused by different mechanisms than a man is. (E.g., men tend to be much more visual.)

If you want to have sex with someone who is more like you, you are free to find another man and do so. If you want to have sex with a woman, I guess you will have to accept that women might be different from you. That doesn't mean that woman can't work harder to "own her shit." But it does mean that she can own every inch of her shit and [i] she still might not want sex as much as you do and still might not "desire" you in the way that you want.[/i][/quote]

Actually no. The male complaint is that women's sex drive and changes drastically after marriage and kids.
If she had been upfront about facebook/DCUM/netflix being a higher priority than sex while dating, then shame on me for marrying such a person.
But I feel justified in complaining about this post-facto and unilateral priority shift.[/quote]

Great response.  I know this feeling all to well.

My wife tells me all the time it's not me, yet she makes no effort to have a physical or emotional connection or help me understand what it is.  It's almost all me.  I get to hear of all the reasons she is not interested in having sex, and yet really don't ever get to talk about solutions or how that affects me.

If my lack of sleep or any health related issue bothers her to a point that it was affecting our marriage, she would expect me to see if there was anything I could do to get help.  Whether through a therapeutic approach or medicinal.

I always wonder if we seperated and she had to date again, what would happen to her sex drive then? Would she be more physical? Would she make more of an effort to connect emotionally? Would she communicate with that person what she needs?

I would guess yes if she has any hope of not being alone.  But yet her husband and supposed partner is not worth that same effort?

Women blame men, men blame women.  The few that seem to really seek out some common ground and get help when needed seem to find a solution.  But if either party resists, it will never improve.

Never thought I would be married and feel on a Friday night that I would have a better shot at enjoyable mutually desired sex from a stranger at the local bar then being at home with my "partner".
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