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[quote=Anonymous]OP--You've gotten a lot of advice, but I have a suggestion that might help while you're figuring out if your DH is willing to become more engaged/try therapy/if divorce is definitely in the cards.  I'm a teacher with a couple former colleagues who left teaching to become special needs/high-end professional nannies.  One of them is a special-needs nanny for a single mom with two kids, and she works a 4-5 hour shift during the weekend every other week---the mom will take one kid to do something fun, the other kid stays home and does a special fun thing with the nanny, and halfway through the mom and nanny swap kids.  My friend says the kids thrive from each having special one-on-one time with their mom and it helps the child with lesser needs when he feels overshadowed by the child with higher needs.

Since it doesn't seem like your husband is around enough to divide-and-conquer so your kids get one-on-one time, maybe this would work for you?

I'd also tell your DH that if he wants to golf over the weekend while you're out of town with your daughter, he can take your son to mini-golf/putt putt.  Or he can get a plastic golf course set and he and your son can set up a wacky golf course in your basement/yard![/quote]

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