Reply to I don't know how to process this fight/anger with my husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We regularly don't get out of bed when the baby wakes up early if he's not actively crying. Once or twice this has meant he has a poopy diaper when we do get up, and who knows when it happened? It really isn't the end of the world.[/quote]

I really hope when you are old, your children let you sit in your own shit while they play games with each other.[/quote]

Dear me. So your position is that a child who is happily playing on his own needs immediate intervention? As soon as you hear a happy coo from baby, who is cheerfully playing with his toes and self-entertaining, you must thrust your head in front of his face and begin clucking over him/entertaining him?

OP, you and  your husband will both be happier parents if you don't have the attitude of the "when you are old" PP. Happy, contented children don't need your constant attention, and if you end up cleaning poop off the crib sheets once in awhile, that's life.

This fight need not be the end of the world or sudden revelation to either of you about your spouse's True Nature. That's the anger talking. And if you truly want to move past it, you must accept who your husband is, accept what you're going to have to do about it, and then make nice. It's no fun to live with someone who is walking around paying attention to all of your worst qualities (we all have them) and forgetting about the good things.

For you, this might mean that you don't get your mornings. Your toddler sleeps ELEVEN HOURS STRAIGHT.

P.S. I've found with my children that the instant I start imposing blame and guilt on them from above, they instantly are absolved of feeling those emotions themselves and become defensive. Adults are often no different. If you are sulking around and feeling angry at your husband about the Poop, you just may have taken away the opportunity for him to feel bad about it himself-- which he may have-- and helped move him straight into defensive mood. This isn't about Who He Is, right? We all make mistakes and should have the opportunity to feel sufficiently regretful without having someone pointing out our flaws.[/quote]

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