Reply to Kind way to say "no" to play date

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. So, the mom and I ended up having lunch. It was fine, though I definitely don't see us getting close. She's an intense tiger mom type. In any case, in her words, "I'm a tiger mom, a bulldog, and am going to make this happen." She was referring to getting our boys together before the school year starts. I came up with every kind excuse, which happen to all be true, but she's not going for it and pinned me down with a date. Anyway, having a small pool/BBQ gathering with her kid and a few others. Who knows, maybe we'll all be surprised.  [/quote]

Yuk! As the mother of a child with SN I would never intimidate another mom like that. I knew a mom like that. She couldn't accept that her kid was forming friendships with some kids who also had needs so she did all sorts of things to manipulate parents of kids without SN to play with her kids. She told sob stories about him that weren't true. She tried the bulldog approach. Nobody should have to do that for a 10 year old. My kid likes plenty of kids who don't have SN. I will invite kids for playdates, but if the parent is evasive I let it go.Guess what, there are kids without SN who actually want to play with my kid. I don't need to manipulate people. If a mom did that to me I would decline and not get together with her myself. Too controlling.[/quote]

This is OP. I hear you and I have all sorts of icky feelings about this, but I'm going to give it a fair chance and hope it's not too uncomfortable. There will be a couple other kids. If it turns out to be a fail,  I'll put my foot down for future. She's super aggressive and she will never read between the lines. I'll have to be firm. Agh! Anyway...[/quote]

I am also parent of a child with SN including social delays. I posted earlier about being evasive- that should have worked but in this case, apparently not. She's setting her son up by forcing get togethers with a boy who's not interested in being his friend. This will come back to bite her DS at school if he mistakenly believes your DS is his best buddy. If your son continues to not want to play with this boy, I would be upfront after the BBQ-- it will cause hard feelings but it's kinder if she thinks she can bull dog the friendship/ connection. 
I'm just really surprised at how aggressive the other mom is being-- I want my DS to have friends too, so long as those kids like him and enjoy his company.

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