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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Will likely have to serve ex w/custody papers. Help me stay calm."
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[quote=Anonymous]I think his aversion is really ego. He knows that he should be present more and contribute, but doesn't really want the responsibility. He is also probably thinking about 20 years from now having a grown daughter who can say that he signed over his parental rights. Currently, he is able to shirk responsibility and be present when it's convenient. Why on Earth would he want to change that? Also, losing sole/physical custody comes with judgment. He can lie enough to himself about his role as a parent, justify his absence because he travels for work. He didn't respond to the emails so that you wouldn't have anything in writing from him on the subject. I have a child with my ex. He's reliable as a parent, but stopped contributing financially years ago. I enabled it because he was active, but it has caused me to make sacrifices to provide as a result. I'm filing for CS and a formal custody arrangement this year. As the years pass, I'm learning that operating in the "gray" has lead to frustration on my end whenever he decides to be difficult. I travel overseas for work and have brought our child along during longterm assignments. We have had informal agreements, 40% of which he has initiated, only for him to not honor his word. I am at the point where I just need clarity and closure. I've avoided court for too long so as not to piss him off. I plan on marrying within the next few years and it's occurred to me that it will be easier getting this stuff squared away before its further complicated with a spouse in the picture. OP, you are definitely doing the right thing. [/quote]
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