Reply to MIL Rant...sorry in advance

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[quote=Anonymous]Np and OP I have a MIL like yours and even when I've been 'crazy assertive', it only changes things for a bit...until it starts up again. In fact, at some base level, they are WAITING for you to react in an angry way.

The only reaction that works is the non-reaction. Its the 'hmmm, you don't say'...all vagueness, all indifference. change subjects. basically look at her like she is speaking a different language and don't respond. Doing this consistently with my MIL has caused her to give up - she can't get a rise out of me so there's just no longer a point.

And think about it from her perspective - her value in life, her self-worth was from being a sahm/housekeeper/house-manager, i.e. caregiver of the family. By you emulating her - being the good housekeeper - you actually are serving to keep her own positive view of herself in tact. But when you turn things around - and are still valued and loved by your DH and your kids - you make her feel insecure about her own life, her own legacy.
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