Reply to Husband still blames me for acting like a bitch postpartum

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your baby/child needs you two-- both of you-- to
get your sh@t together. And I say that with a lot of compassion.  I had PPD that became so severe that I decided my two kids (1&3) were better off without me. And better if I was gone before they could remember me. So I had a suicide attempt.  Coma, ventilator, the whole 9 yards.  It was a long, dark climb back, and I felt terrible about putting my DH through that hell.  And apologized. And really meant it. Even if I was getting help at the time, and doing the best I could, I still hurt him a lot. No ifs, ands or buts. And acknowledged that. But on the flip side, he was very forgiving, and repeatedly told me, when I didn't believe it, that I had a disease, and he was there for me no matter what.  He said he could no more blame me than he could if I had been diagnosed with cancer.

Fast forward 10 years.  And the kids I thought were better off without me are 11 & 13, and I know without a doubt that I am a great mom, that I contribute so much to the amazing people they are becoming, and and that they would never recover if I was gone. The depression is gone, but I still see a therapist regularly, and deal with stressful situations as they come up, rather than letting them fester. We never had the 3rd child I wanted because of concerns about recurrent PPD, but our marriage is very strong. I suspect stronger than it would otherwise be because we went through something so tough together.

But that's the thing-- we did it together. It was a terrible situation. And it tore both of us to pieces. But in some ways, it was like a lightening strike.  There was no real way to predict it. I did very well with DC1. So rather than pointing fingers, I put 100% into recovery and DH put 100% into supporting me.  I felt terrible about hurting and scaring him, and acknowledged that, without conditions. He felt terrible about what I was going through, and did everything he could to help.

Point is-- you're parents now. You owe it to DC to stop pointing fingers and do whatever it takes to become a team.  [/quote]

NP here.  Thank you so much for telling your story.  I am so glad you are here and are okay.  Thank you for fighting your way back.[/quote]

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