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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you had sex once in two years and she got pregnant from that single occasion, and now you have a 9 month old? I've never said this here because it's usually so obnoxious, but could she be having an affair? I mean really, once and she's pregnant? [/quote]

OP here.  We did IVF. [/quote]

My mind is officially blown that you went out of your way to have a baby with someone who hadn't slept with you for 6 months. I know it's not helpful but I can't understand that.

I've been on both sides of the high/low drive divide. Right now I'm medium I guess. To behave how she is, she must have some serious reason not to want sex, or she just doesn't give a shit about your feelings. She's not even pretending to try. If demand couples therapy or leave. Think about feeling this way for the rest of your life. Maybe in therapy you can get to the root of the issue. [/quote]

OP here- Thank you.  I guess my numbers were off a little bit, it has been more like 18 months.  We were having sex when we were trying to get pregnant for 3 years, but it was 1 or 2 times a month around her fertile period and solely for the sake of pregnancy, with no real sexual contact aside from that.  I understood how painful this was situation was to us so I did not press or feel hurt by the lack of sexual contact.  The thing that is hard is that she says she is trying.  One example is that she said that we should sleep naked, which is nice, but she just lies on her side of the bed and I lie on mine.  There is some cuddling but then my arm hurts(had an injury when I was younger) so I have to move away after a while and she gets pissed, but nothing related to sexual contact.  Also, she said we should shower together, which is also nice, but she doesn't want me to touch her any more than just washing her and vice versa.  So yes she is technically "trying" but it does not accomplish anything towards why I feel hurt.[/quote]

Wow.  You left a big thing out of your OP.  You were striggling with infertility, only having sex to try to get pregnant for 3 years?  I haven't dealt with infertility, but I really can't imGine anyone NOT struggling with sex after that.  Have you talked with her about her feelings about this?  
I kind of wonder if she feels like you don't care about her if you can't connect your fertility issues to her disinterest in sex.  
Also, Meeting women on their level is not cuddling when you would like to do more.  Meeting your wife on her level is having honest two-sided conversations about difficult and important subjects.  Maybe if you can do that three times a week, She might start to feel interested in having sex with you.  [/quote]

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