Reply to Breaking the Mommy Martyr Routine

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Reply to "Breaking the Mommy Martyr Routine"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's her own guilt plain and simple.  I don't think she is trying to be anything other than a great parent and wife.  Unfortunately, she doesn't realize that being a martyr isn't really helping.

This is very, very common in SAHMs.  Especially those who left successful careers to stay at home.  They enjoy excelling at everything they do.  So wanting to do it "all" in regards to the house and kids goes right in line with what they have always done.

In my experience, the best way to help make a change is for her to understand that by taking care of herself (pursuing an interest, a hobby, or education that makes her feel alive) and making time for herself, will in fact help all of you. Her identity has become too heavily steeped in her role as a mom.  Subconsciously, she no longer views herself as an individual. Her primary responsibility is raising the kids.

Good luck.  I was in her shoes.  Ultimately, I almost ruined our marriage.  I had very few outside interests.  My whole world revolved around the kids.  I wasn't much fun to be around.  It wasn't until my kids were in school full-time and I could pursue my own interests a little more that things improved.[/quote]

THat's called raising young children. Your hobbies, crazy travels, daily gym classes, and late nights take a hit.  Duh. 
DH and DW need together time too. In OP's case, to repair their relationship.  He has a very poor opinion of his wife, to the point that he does not want her around when he can go show the kiddos a fun time once a week. Wonder if he does any disciplining or childcare or homework time, or just swings in for the fun stuff.  That didn't even fool my kids when they were 2. [/quote]

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