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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a child of divorce and I really have no idea whether it was the right choice.  Yes my parents were unhappy together, but they were also unhappy separately.  Their subsequent marriages were troubled in the same ways.  So I often wonder what was the point of getting divorced, making the kids live in two houses, being financially wrecked, etc.?  Their marriage might have gotten better if they had stayed together.  So I'm not saying it was the wrong choice, but I'm not convinced it was the right one.

I wouldn't say I'm psychologically traumatized by it, but it certainly is a lifelong burden to have divorced parents.  Right now I'm trying to move them each into separate assisted living homes.  It's much harder to sell two houses and find two retirement homes, than just one.  I have put a lot of time and money into travel because they live in different places.  It's very hard for me when they're both sick at once.    And it's hard on my own marriage, and takes me away from my own children.

I really hate the expression "children are resilient" because it waves away the practical impact, and the fact that it isn't just affecting me during my childhood.  What I am going through in my 50s is much harder than anything that happened when they were married or in the process of divorcing.  If you are thinking about divorce, think about the whole life consequences.[/quote]

See, this is a really important thing to think about. I'm a divorced and remarried person with joint custody. PP, it's stuff like this, and having dealt with my own parents (also divorced, so I get where you are coming from), that made me get it together to make plans ahead of time for when/if I need care. There are plans in place, or at least the beginning of plans, so that my child doesn't have to carry so much of this, and some decisions are already taken care of. I suspect travel and its costs are things nobody will be able to avoid, and are somewhat universal in the is day and age of folks being spread all over the country. This is a responsibility I assumed when I became a parent. [/quote]

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