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[quote=Anonymous]I get it OP.  I've been there (my most direct example was being out to dinner and turning around and seeing my 3 yr old drinking his grandmother's beer.  I grabbed it out of his hand and reacted without thinking and said "Jane, what are you thinking?!" and she replied "He just took it."  As though it was no big deal, and she had no responsibility in the matter.)

This same woman also decided to draw a growth chart on our livingroom entry and measure the kids - who were thrilled to show me how their grandmother taught them to draw on the walls.

I have a hundred other examples.  I sometimes retain my cool enough to manage it gracefully and sometimes there's an unfiltered, imperfect reaction like you had OP.  It's ok.

One of the things I tell myself is to correct the behavior for the child and don't address the grandparent directly.  "Here's some paper Johnny, we don't draw on furniture."  It may not shame the grandmother into changing her behavior but you're directly addressing it and teaching the child.

That same kind of mindset works well for me anytime I feel like someone else is just being idiotic.  I try to address the behavior, not the person.  So not "what the hell are you doing?" but "I would prefer if you do it this way instead" or something like that.

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