Reply to Fuming! Need some advice about SIL and how she handled soemthing

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[quote=Anonymous]NP here.  Yes, I think it was wrong for SIL to completely disregard your wishes.  But as the cliché goes you can't control other people ...  It was about getting a rise with you (check mark), putting you in the defensive on not being able to afford expensive things (check mark) and getting on your daughter's good side by buying something expenive (check mark).

To me, the important thing would have been to not give SIL the satisfaction and making sure your daughter is level headed about getting an expensive gift.  Does your daughter have a job/understand the value of money?  Could she be just as happy with a bag from Target or does she feel like life isn't complete without a designer xyz?  Will she be easily swayed by a guy or a friend that spends a lot of money on her but may not be a good person and does so as a form of manipulation?  If you feel confident in your own choices even and you have raised your daughter such that she won't fall into being money traps (keeping up with the jones, spending on a credit card on things she can't afford, only wanting to hang out with kids that have money/making fun of people that don't) I don't see how the SIL gift was anything other than an annoyance.  [/quote]

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