Reply to DW has incredibly low sex drive - not sure what can be done to help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"What is prompting me to write this is that I was just rejected again as I reached over to try and initiate something, anything. I got the good old...I'm too tired...Need to get some sleep..."

So, this may be your problem.

Imaging her writing this post:

I've done my wind down from the busy day, read to get my mind off of everything, slip slowly into the bliss of sweet sleep in my comfy bed, giant dreamy smile of content on my face, I'm drifting off ... then, out of the blue, a hand plops onto my hip implying, wake up and get your motor running NOW!

That is a huge downer.

Change up your routine. Turn her on before she turns it off for the night. Make an effort to turn her on, and not when she's half asleep. Women do not have on/off switches; you need to ramp it up.

The reason she is there for you in the morning shower is that she is awake![/quote]

This is ridiculous. Regular sex is an important part of a healthy marriage - it's an obligation. You make it sound like it's a prize awarded to a husband for good behavior.[/quote]

LMAO!!!! It's an "obligation" to have sex?  What is this, sexual slavery?  Um, no, that's not how it works, despite the fact that that may be some male fantasy.

People get to have sex when they feel like it, and only then. Of course, a partner may choose to leave the marriage due to lack of sex but that is 100% on them and it's not up to anyone else to "lie back and think of England" so their spouse can get their rocks off.

Only men have these absurd expectations. It's actually disgusting. [/quote]

Are you OP's wife?

Of course marital sex is an obligation.  You sign up for it when you marry someone.  If you don't like them enough to want to have sex with them on a regular basis, then you shouldn't have got married to them.

It's like any other committment.  Do you know what a commitment is hon?  No I'll bet you don't.[/quote]

But things change, people change.  Maybe her idea of "having sex" is something that happens less often, or something that does not come before all the other chores and responsibilities that make a life and a family with kids run smoothly.

And you know what?  THAT"S OKAY.

You know you live in a patriarchy when people literally try to frame "not wanting to have sex" as if it is some kind of selfish, cruel crime.

YOU ARE NOT OWED SEX.  NOT BY YOUR GIRLFRIEND, NOT BY YOUR SPOUSE.

So if that was the reason you got married- well, you made a poor life choice!

Try to be mature, take control for your own orgasms, realize and internalize the fact that your wife has a different libido than you and that that is perfectly, 100% valid. [/quote]
I'm a woman who thinks you sound crazy. No one in a committed relationship should make a unilateral decision to change or effectively end their sex life. The other party is owed a discussion, looking for a compromise and more. If the now asexual person isn't willing to give them that then they did make a poor life choice- they chose the wrong type of partner.[/quote]

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