Reply to Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't like it because[b] I think all humans are equal, regardless of age. All people are deserving of courtesy, again, regardless of age. And using honorifics for only certain people  in a social setting sets the tone that we are not all equals. [/b] You can be courteous and caring without titles. But would I fall on this sword in an argument with my husand? Probably not. I'd discuss my beliefs about it with the kids as they got older. At some point, They will decide how they want to address others anyway. [/quote]

Oh wow, I don't even know where to begin. Do you seriously not believe it is good for children to respect authority? Surely kids cannot be given authority over adults so how exactly do you define equality? Of course children deserve respect but that doesn't mean that they are on an equal playing field with adults. In fact, I make it a point to tell my kids they are not equal with adults. It doesn't mean they should be treated more poorly, it means that they do not have the authority to say and act however they want. So whether it's me, their teacher, their friend's parent, their babysitter, they need to respect that authority.

I recently moved to the South from DC and have heard a few kids say 'sir' and 'ma'am.' It's actually surprisingly really nice to hear. It just sounds like someone who has been raised with a lot of class and manners. We have so much of the opposite nowadays with parents treating their kids like friends (or 'equals'), and kids treating adults with zero respect. I say if it reinforces respect and courtesy, why not? [/quote]

I want my child to be courteous to all people, Not just those older than they are.

It's not a failure to teach manners. It's just a different approach to manners.  It's not a free pass to act inappropriately.  It's teaching appropriate behavior within the context that all humans are worthy of kindness and consideration, my child included. From the infant to the elderly. The disabled to the powerful.

[/quote]

I think the "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" teachings are more cultural/locational than some other forms of manners in the US, so I understand why some/most here in DC wouldn't teach it.  Do you teach your children to call their teachers, and the elderly, Mr., Ms., or Miss, or do you teach them to call their teachers by their first (or last) name only?[/quote]

We teach our kids to call people they want to be called.  Some teachers like "Ms. [Firstname]," and some like ["Mrs. Lastname"], his grandparents like "sir" and "ma'am", etc.   [/quote]

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