Reply to SO angry at my dh this morning

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there are a few issues going on here, but the commute is definitely a contributing factor to making it worse.

I totally understand being more social than your spouse...that can be challenging.  But marriage is a compromise, and at least as you describe it your DH is not holding up his side of the bargain.  I'm more social than DH, but he understands that and extends himself outside of his comfort zone to make me happy.  I also do more socializing alone, and that's also part of our compromise.

DH is also more of a "country" person who would choose to live in the middle of a forest if he could.  But again, that doesn't work for me, I like to walk places etc...so we find common ground and compromise.  I will say, though, even he would not willingly sign up for the commute you two have...that's just silly when you don't own your house.  There are plenty of places in Arlington that are more cul-de-sac than, say, Courthouse.

Bottom line is that you don't have to be 100% compatible, but you do have to respect your partner's likes/dislikes and make compromises for their happiness.  Right now it sounds like you are living your DH's ideal, and that needs to change.  Marriage counseling can help you talk this out, but the approach needs to be about finding ways to accommodate each other while still being different people.[/quote]
I wish that people would actually read OP's responses.  OP is NOT a social person...she wants to be social and expected her DH to help her along that path.  This is NOT the case of an extrovert (OP) marrying an introvert.  In OP's own words, she is a (formerly) socially awkward introvert who married a former extrovert who she thought would help her transform into an extrovert. There's no bargain that her DH didn't hold up.  He never promised that he would introduce her to the glamorous life.[/quote]

I did read the comments...and one of OP's beefs is that her DH never wants to go out and try to make new friends.  Whatever their levels of social success in the past, that is an indication that today OP wants to be more social than her DH.  And my response is that sometimes he does need to go out with her, but also that she needs to socialize on her own.  Whether she's good at socializing is irrelevant, she needs space to try and their current lifestyle doesn't make that easy.[/quote]

This is OP. I agree with this. I'm not saying my dh should take me to a nice gala every night. I'd just like to live somewhere where I can walk to a bar or a restaurant and be able to meet my work friends after work or walk to a bare class.

Right now I get home at 8pm drained and have no where to go out there except the apartment gym.my current living situation isn't helping my desire to be more social.[/quote]

Wow that is an extremely limited set of people you want to meet up with. So if you lived in walking distance to bars or restaurants, you would only be going to them if / when your work friends could make it? No that doesn't seem worth a move to me either.

Now if you said you wanted to move to be closer to those so you could start becoming a regular and make friends there with other regulars that would be a different story,

If friends from work are going out, just plan to stay after work and go with them. To get home, take Uber.[/quote]

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