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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Send DH (and any other kids) to game-you and son go late to party. I agree with you-you honored DH family but then they canceled and now you ought to honor the commitment owed to team.  I would ask coach if it would truly be an issue and if not then sure - go to party.[/quote]

I think the cancellation issue is making things unnecessarily confused.  How about thinking of it this way:  Pretend MIL called DH [b]today[/b] for the absolute first time and said, "I know it is last minute, but I am pulling together a celebration for Grandpa's 75th.  BIL has agreed to come in from out of town and some other family is also coming.  Can you and your family make it?"

Would you hesitate?  Or would you simply call the coach and say he is going to have to miss this game for a family event?[/quote]
The cancellation is absolutely relevant. You cannot just say ' pretend this part did not happen' --  da hell ?!
Because of the back and forth OP has had to back out of her kid's committment 2 times at this point.
I would go to the game with the son and meet  up with everyone else at the party -- later!!
[/quote]

One time.  She notified the coach one time that her son would miss the game.
I guess people just place different value on extended family and family events.  Go with your values I guess, OP.  Just be careful that it is really about honoring commitments and not feeling spiteful toward MIL.[/quote]
I hate those kind of insults -- the unnecessary moral superiority is not a good look pp.
I'm not the OP by the way...just the poster to whom you are responding

1) I place a lot of value on family. I hate to break the news but lots of people value family and do not do things exactly as you would.

2) she told the coach -- not coming
     she told the coach -- coming
    Now she would tell the coach not coming again
    That is 3 times -- do the math

3) There is nothing wrong with them coming late to the event, if MIL was able to waffle about when to have it, then it should not be a big deal.

4) I happen to  have very understanding inlaws, folks who actually understand and work with one another and would not blink at the compromise of us coming a bit later
[/quote]

I'm the PP you are quoting.

First, i didn't intend anything as an insult.  I didn't say that some people place NO value on family and others do.  I think I was just observing that some people place more value on family than others.  Not a judgment.  I think we can all agree that is true?  Some people would drop everything at a moments notice to help a family member, to the detriment of themselves and immediate family.  Other people don't see extended family as family at all.  It is a spectrum, and people should make decision based on where their values lie.

Second,  the poster I was responding to said that OP "has had to back out on commitment two times at this point."  It has not happened two times (or three, as you say).  It has happened once.

Finally, as to the compromise.  Maybe so.   But the fact that they were originally going to go on time and have now changed that could upset a FIL.  If this is really a middle school game 15 minutes away starting at the same time as the event, it seems more likely to me that they will miss half the dinner?[/quote]
You need to look up the definition of judgement. SMDH!!! Seriously, you think from this situation and people's responses you can sit at your keyboard and determine how much other people value family?  You are a very un-self aware piece of work. Just so we are clear, a lot of people love, value, and cherish family, immediate and extended, they would move heaven and earth for them and in this circumstance see no problem in going to the dinner later. 
Still SMDH!!! [/quote]

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