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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

My husband had a crappy childhood.  We took in his mom - why?  We would want our child to do the same if we needed it and you need to set a good example.  Even if you can afford care, there is still a lot of time/work involved in managing someone's life.  I am the poster who took the MIL and got her into a nursing home.  I easily spend 5-10 hours many (not all) weeks between visiting and managing her care/needs.  I do it as my child watches everything I do and copies it.  And, regardless of everything he deserves a relationship with his grandparents.[/quote]

I suppose his mother is reasonably well behaved.  But what if she drank,  played loud music all the time, walked into your bedroom at all hours, stayed up all night, prevented your child from doing their homework and was generally extremely rude.  What if, when you asked her not to do that, she started yelling, swearing, and kicking?  Would you still take her in?[/quote]

My MIL had moderate to severe dementia... It was an absolute nightmare for me.  It was 24/7 care, from feeding, to bathing to cooking to supervising.  Wars as she had a tv in her room and she insisted on watching Law and Order SVU in our living room with our young kids around (small house, only sitting area).  She'd be pure mean to me (it was the dementia).  There were constant accidents (not her fault but medication).  I did it as long as I could till a nursing home took her.  I would do it again if I had to.  Her other son who lived closer abandoned her and wouldn't even check on her every few months.    [/quote]

You let your kids be around grandma when her health was failing and she was abusive? Ok. Choices. [/quote]

They understood that grandma was ill and we had to take care of her as it was our family responsibility.  Seriously, dementia is not her fault.  Its a horrible illness especially given it was early onset.  She was not being deliberately abusive.  She'd never say those things to me if she didn't have dementia.  It is about choices... you choose to treat others how you want to be treated.  What would I teach my kids if I abandoned her?[/quote]

I wouldn't want the last memories my kids have of grandma to be those. I would send her to a facility and visit often. Bring the kids when she's having good days. That's just me. Your heart is in the right place but I wouldn't have gone that route. [/quote]

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