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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everything depends on the will. I was the executor of my parents' estates. When mom passed, technically her will left everything to me to divvy out as I saw fit.

What some people think the "family" agrees to do doesn't actually matter in many cases. It is up to the executor to make these kinds of decisions. [/quote]

OP here - first, there was no will - everything went to her husband/my grandfather.

I told my mom last week at dinner.  She was annoyed/disappointed.  She said one of her brothers had already mentioned that there was something they needed to talk about whenever she was up for it.

So, she ended up talking to my aunt (I assumed that was how it would play out no matter who told my mom because there are 3 sisters and the third is developmentally disabled).  Aunt continued to be defensive and vague about the entire issue and never really fessed up to the whole thing but admitted that (1) she acquired the ring around the time of the funeral and (b) neither parent gave the ring to her.  She also claims that the ring has been in her safe and she didn't think much about it until her daughter got engaged.  My mother suspects the ring was removed when the casket was closed and handed over to my aunt (that is the only thing that makes sense at this point).

My mother told her that she was very, very disappointed in how aunt chose to handle the situation.  That she still feels there is more to the story about how my aunt acquired the ring that perhaps my aunt herself is not ready to resolve (aunt was the youngest and had a very, very hard time when their mother died - she has always acted a bit more entitled about the death, like it was more acute and painfuyl for her than anyone else).  My mom  added that, even if my aunt hadn't thought much about the ring since she acquired it, she should have come to everyone and explained the situtation before she gave her daughter the ring and removed the diamonds.

Anyway, her daughter is, as predicted, keeping the diamonds.  My mother asked for the gold setting to handed over to my mother and that she and her brothers would decide what to do with it.  I suspect there will be hard feelings/distrust towards aunt for a long time and I do not doubt that they will bubble over at some point in the future (the brothers/ my uncles are still bothered by it - in large part because the niece with the ring is young and never even knew her grandmother).  [/quote]

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