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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I didn't read all 5 pages so I'm sure that I missed some things but will give you my answer without being nasty.

I think it's appropriate to ask your 60-something parent if they have a will with executor and medical power of attorney.  If it's you, then you don't want to be surprised when the situation arises.  I asked my own mother this question last year, and the answer was yes she and my dad both have all the paperwork in place and they have named my brother as executor and power-of-attorney primarily because he lives closer than I do.  Now, are there other family dynamics at play? Of course there are in my family, but they aren't relevant.  The important thing is knowing that they've taken the steps necessary to get their affairs in order, whatever those affairs might look like.

Where I think you went wrong was in asking about the contents of the will.  I personally don't think that the details are the business of anyone but the person whose will it is, unless they feel that there's something others would want or need to know in order to do advance planning for some reason.  Partly, that's because money does weird things to people.  And, partly, because you can change a will at any time so even if she'd given you the answer you wanted, there's nothing to say that she won't have changed it by the time she actually passes away.  This happened in my own family.  When my grandmother died, my grandfather's will was going to leave everything evenly divided among his children, one of whom was executor.  Within two years he'd met another woman, and by the time he died 3yrs after that she had convinced him to re-write the will making her own son the executor and leaving everything to her.  So much pain in our family, and most of it wasn't about money (of which there wasn't much), but about our family sentimental heirlooms.

Good luck moving forward.[/quote]

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