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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I think it would be a normal thing to discuss, especially considering that my stepfather (whose entire livelihood comes from a business my father started) could easily remarry if my mom were to pass away.

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OP, yes it is not unusual for some families to discuss this.  It is also not unusual for some people to be more private and not want to discuss this.  There is no "normal" when it comes to discussing money.  What is not appropriate is potential heirs asking about their inheritance.  It is the right of the person who holds the money to decide to discuss or not discuss the situation with their heirs without being nagged about it.  Asking about an inheritance is rude and inappropriate.  If your parent/relative offers the information freely, that's kind, but otherwise, you aren't entitled to that information.

Regarding the PP who mentioned her mother dying intestate, the issue here is not that your mother failed to discuss her estate with you, but that she was neglectful in taking care of her estate and planning.  Had she drawn up a will or put her belongings into a trust, then there would not have been such difficulties for you.  You would have just been executor of her will and taken care of things as she had planned.  It was the fact that she didn't make any plans that was an issue, not whether or not she discussed it with you.

Likewise, for OP, the issue is not the actual will, property or inheritance, but her mother's lack of prior consideration for OP and her brother.  What OP really wanted to discuss was whether her mother had made any allowances for her biological children in her estate, rather than the will and/or contents of the estate.  After she sent her email,  her mother responded with the information she wanted.  But the original question was rude and inappropriate which is what her mother responded to.  She was not willing to describe her assets, but was willing to convey that she would make allowances for her biological children.  OP asked the wrong question, but ultimately got what she wanted.[/quote]

OP here. I didn't ask her any questions about her assets. I just asked if she was including my brother and I directly in her will. I don't agree that it's not appropriate to ask a parent this question. She could always say she didn't want to tell me and that it's none of my business. But that's not what she did, she huffed and hung up on me.

Anyway, we are fine now. We had a few exchanges, including additional conversation about her wishes later in life. It's too early to discuss every detail of that, but I'm glad to know she is open to having open discussions about how she wants her later years to look in various situations so that I can participate accordingly. I was expecting her to be more belligerent about that conversation.

If I had to guess, I think she hung up on me because my stepdad was in the room without my having realized it during our first phone conversation. But that's just a guess. [/quote]

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