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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ILs and husband both end up taking twice as long to cook meals as they plan to - and the kids are a bawling tired mess by the time we eat. When I first saw this dynamic, I tried to intervene to resolve it, but what cook wants to be rushed and what kid wants to miss out on a special holiday meal with extended family?

Now I sit back and let it happen. I offer to help once. If I'm declined, then I [u]give the kids milk when they should be eating[/u], [b]but I don't make it my job to entertain an overtired, hungry set of kids, [/b]nor do I make it my job to micromanage a bunch of adults who know what the consequences of their actions will be. They know what they're doing - so I let them, and let them deal with the consequences.

It's really stressful for everyone else, but it's a mess of their own making and it's only manageable for me if I just throw up my hands and accept that I don't control these people. [/quote]

You're punishing your kids because your ILs and husband have poor time-management skills in the kitchen. It absolutely IS your responsibility to entertain/care for/FEED your kids at all times, especially in your in-laws' home. What kind of mother knowingly lets her kids be miserable to make a point?[/quote]

The kids are absolutely not being starved. Their regular meal is being served too late, but they have milk in the meantime - they're grumpy and tired, but not neglected, which I'm sure you didn't mean to imply.

Whenever some one comes on here asking for advice on how to get her husband to respect the kids' schedule re naps & meal times, the advice is to stand back, let him do it the way he thinks is fine, and then let him deal with the consequences - don't bail him out when the kids meltdown, so he can see for himself whether the schedule is worth it.

All I'm saying is that I've tried that approach and it's working - maybe OP should try the same with her MIL. Everyone knows last night was a disaster, but if I had tol MIL that the dinner she wanted to cook was no longer on the menu because she got too late of a start, I would have been the one who ruined everything. Try not caring OP - it helps. [/quote]

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