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[quote=Anonymous]Divorced woman here. I married in my 30s and am now mid-40s. When I was dating, I waited awhile before having sex with anyone, for the reasons stated above - to keep my head clear, to avoid being used for sex, for STD/pregnancy avoidance, etc. And I met and married who I thought was a great guy. We did not have sex until several months into the relationship, after being exclusive and it was clear the relationship was serious.

At the time, I thought that his willingness to wait meant that he was a good man and serious about me. Looking back, I see it differently. He turned out to have major porn issues, so no wonder it was not a big deal for him to wait to have sex. A real woman was just not his preference.

I have not started dating again yet, but when I do I will approach sex very differently. If it is no big deal for both of us to wait for months or years, that probably means that the attraction is not that strong or one of us has other issues, either of which would doom any hope of a healthy relationship. I still don't plan on sleeping around, but if I am strongly attracted to someone I don't think I will wait months either. I certainly don't intend to follow any arbitrary "wait __ dates/months" rules. 
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