Reply to Deciding to have an only child b/c of infertility

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I haven't read all of the comments but I'm in a similar situation.  We found out a few weeks ago that we cannot have a second.  I read the book One and Only mentioned above and I suggest you read it. It may sound crazy but you may want to move closer to DC or into the city.  The area where I live has tons of playgroups etc. so my daughter is always around other kids.  Also, houses in my neighborhood are close together so all of my neighbors know my daughter and we visit them, etc. all the time. I think this really helps.  I cannot imagine being in a far out suburb with an only child, I think it would be very difficult.  I also think you need to be careful about projecting your difficult childhood onto your child and also making more of the sibling relationship than it often is.  Hugs to you, I know how hard it is.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for your suggestions.  First I just want to mention that I see a therapist who specializes in infertility, so that has been very helpful.

Second, regarding living in a far out suburb, yes, we did choose poorly when we chose our neighborhood.  However, we moved into our house in the distant burbs well before we even talked about starting to TTC.  We've been here 8 years already and DH says he refuses to move b/c we've put $150,000 into the house already in renovations.  So I think we're staying here for at least 10 more years.  It's not ideal but we love the house and our area, even though we dislike the neighborhood a lot.

But it is hard being so far out--we live in a non walkable area, we do not know any of our neighbors (pretty much all empty nesters/with high school kids), and there is not much out here for kids--my closest playground is a 15 minute drive, etc.  I have not found any local playgroups (but we did join one 15 minutes away).

We are currently in a Mommy and Me class at a preschool, and we are the only only child family in our class.  This has made it harder to bond with the other families--they are not interested in doing playdates I guess b/c they're bust with their 2-3 kids.  I was hoping to find community at preschool but it hasn't happened yet, and we will switch preschools for next year.

Re: my eggs,  I just took another pregnancy test, another month of a BFN.  So depressing.  I plan to start acupuncture next month and see if that helps any.  I will get another set of bloodwork done next cycle.  I do feel down about my eggs.  My blood test results combined with my experience of TTC for 10 months with no BFP makes me feel like they're all bad at this point.  I am still ovulating though according to Clearblue and I get regular periods, so no issues there.  Only issue that I know of is egg quality.

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