Reply to Deciding to have an only child b/c of infertility

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  [b]My husband wants a second very badly.[/b]  We are still trying naturally (though it has been 10 months and no pregnancy).  We will continue to try naturally.  He wants me to go through IVF despite hearing the less than 5% success rate.  I don't think I'm willing to go through all that for such a low success rate.  DH and I both want a second child.  We may eventually do donor egg but I'm not there yet emotionally.

When we talk about being one and done, DH always points to my lonely childhood experience being an only/disliking it now, and says that he doesn't want our daughter to have a similar experience.  He points out the similarities in having no local family/grandparents far away/no real friends here and feels that our DD needs a sibling because of our situation.  I feel the same way, and it's hard to come to terms with having just one due to infertility.[/quote]

Then he needs to get over his fear of adoption.  Just because his family had an issue does not mean YOU will.  Every situation is unique and most infant adoptions work out great.  There are non-committal info sessions that could help facilitate research and dialogue about this.

I ran out of eggs at age 34, just a year after I had easily conceived and given birth to my daughter.  After five years of slowly coming to terms with the crappy hand we had been dealt, DH finally got on board with adoption.  We wound up adopting an older child from eastern Europe and it was the best thing we ever did.

Good luck to you.[/quote]

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