Reply to Wife nearly died. Angry with underwhelming response from her family

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[quote=Anonymous]Op first I'm so sorry about the stroke and the disappointing response from your wife's family. What I'm going to say next is in no way an excuse for their objectively terrible behavior but just an explanation of how I view people, because it really helps me let go of certain expectations and make peace with what I get from people. Everyone does what they can do and some people can. not. do. illness. It's sad, it's disappointing, it hurts. But to make peace with it, you should try to realize that they are just utterly inadequate and incapable of dealing with it. Apparently they shut down and exist in lala, everything will be ok land. Let go of your expectations of them on this and see if there are other, less challenging to them, ways they can contribute. It's totally ok to communicate to them as pps have suggested that you will not be *doing Christmas* as usual until your wife is well. Just take the emotion and the disappointment out of it, for your own healing, and for that of your wife, when she's recovered. It would be a double blow to lose her family as well because you can't forgive them (your anger is justified but doesn't help you is basically what I am trying to say). Best of luck. [/quote]

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