Reply to Wife nearly died. Angry with underwhelming response from her family

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[quote=Anonymous]I've done my share of helping out people in need, many times over the years.  But up until fairly recently I had young kids myself who needed supervision.  My husband had a demanding full time job and was attending school.  There was a very real limit as to how much I could have taken over for another family even if I wanted to.  Usually I either had kids with me or was soon going to need to go and get kids - plus the germs.  Didn't want to pass those around.

If I had brought an illness into a sick person's home I would have felt horrible.  As far as making a casserole or something - I wouldn't know what to send.  What could the sick person eat?  Is asking what they can eat too personal? Should I drop by and visit or is that putting something more on you as the caregiver?  If you and I are chatting on the phone/emailing/hanging out together/going shopping then I am going to feel more comfortable talking to you about the issues you're dealing with.  But if we're on more formal, hands off terms...I'm going to step back and take my cues from you and not over step. If I get the impression that you've got things covered and have others supporting you and more casseroles than you could ever eat....  That is good enough. The team around you needs to make YOU feel strong.

Is it possible that the in-laws think that you don't need their help?

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