Reply to Does dating white guys make me self-racist?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Does dating white guys make me self-racist?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Has the OP chimed in with her reflections?

Internalized racism may be an issue. Wanting to escape all of the traditions embedded in an Indian-Indian union could be another. There could be something else that's present in this population of blonde, Preppy men that intrigues the OP. We can't know.

I appreciate the input from several AA women on this thread (especially the African poster). I hope the broader audience was listening because I don't usually hear this level of honesty outside of sister circles. (I'm black, too.) My life experience doesn't require citation or significant sample size. The exposure I've had to black men throughout my life has taught me what those PPs have shared. I've heard the African perspective repeatedly. Most of my African girlfriends have ended up with men from the Caribbean, for example. There's something about the legacy of slavery and the history of the black family in the U.S. that burdens AA men (generally). It's rare and wonderful to find a man who's really done the internal work required to overcome it. Listen or not, it's real.

I do hope the OP comes back and shares her thoughts on this. It's an honest question. Good on her for thinking about it.
[/quote]

The West Indian guy I dated for a bit was the laziest dude you would ever meet in your whole life and so were all his male relatives. The women were doing it all -- paying the bills AND all the childcare, home and hearth stuff -- as well as taking over the world by earning multple degrees and starting businesses, and the men were sitting back doing nothing and cheating and making kids with random women. Now, I could take that experience and paint all West Indian men as lazy goodfornothings, but I didn't and don't. I come from a family of strong black men, married to strong black women and the men provide for their families. That is how my father raised me and when I got married that was the expectation I had for my husband and he has more than met that expectation.

There are some black men who ain't shit. But ain't shit men exist in all races yet somehow only black men get are scorned for it. That always puzzles me.

To answer OP's question, I don't think dating white guys makes you self-racist. I think some of what people said earlier about media messaging may be influencing your decision -- may be -- but unless you are using stereotypes (Asian men have small peens and so on) instead of judging people on their character, you're just attracted to who you are attracted to.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics