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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe you're not relying on them for formal child care, but do you expect everyone to help you during vacations and family gatherings? My sister is like this with her three. I of course spend time with my nieces and nephew, but I've got my own child to watch and like to relax a bit when I can.

You may seem more overwhelmed than you realize.[/quote]

My SIL w 4 is just like this. [/quote]

This. OP, you might be the exception. But the moms I know with lots of kids say they love having a big family, and claim self sufficiency, just like you. But being around them and their young brood is exhausting. The parents don't watch their kids all the time, they don't correct bad behavior, and they seem overwhelmed. We have a pool, and one friend with 5 kids would bring them over  (invited), but allow the 3 year old to run around the pool unsupervised,  saying "she's  fine, Sophie is out there with her." Sophie, the 8 year old...expected to supervise the 3 year old in a pool. Or she'd expect the 14 year old to police the younger kids' behavior. Didn't work. All of which is just exhausting for the rest of us.

This is one example, you may be the exception. But surely you can see how it's shocking when you tell someone what you plan to take on. At the very best, It's not so different fom somebody saying "I'm going back to school," when they work full time, have 2 young kids, and are also remodeling a house. You would have a ferry hard time saying "congrats " with no other comment.[/quote]

First off, congrats, OP! And that is all people should say to you.

But I find it interesting you won't address this specific dynamic described above. When you actually see your family in person, do you expect "the village" to look after your kids? Do you just assume an adult will keep an eye on them while you relax, because you "deserve" some me time? Do you think it's grandma's duty to watch them while you sleep in, or do you ask for that help and say thank you?
[b]
If you rely on "the village" to help take care of your kids, they are going to have opinions as to whether you can handle more, and when.[/quote][/b]

+1[/quote]

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