Reply to 3.5 and 4 year olds not potty trained...how did that happen?

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Reply to "3.5 and 4 year olds not potty trained...how did that happen?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there a point to training them earlier than they want?  Does potty training at 4 have any negative effect on a child?[/quote]

Yes, four year olds notice that all the other children can use the bathroom and aren't wearing diapers under their clothes, hanging out of their bathing suits at the pool, etc. Do you think they are like infants and have no social awareness at 4?? Also, they will remember it because also unlike infants, 4 year olds are forming long term memories. Have you ever interacted with a child older than about 12 months?[/quote]

If they notice other kids, all the better. If the kid isn't trained simply because he's resistant (no other physical or neurological problems), then seeing their peers using the toilet can be a good motivator. [/quote]

This could apply to everything! Genius! Don't teach your kid to use silverware and hopefully he will feel like the odd one out and a little ape-like and start using it once he sees peers doing so! Shame! Who would have thought of this?! I am going to lay off all the teaching right now! Will save me a ton of effort. [/quote]

You're not understanding or reading. I said clearly that if the reason they're not trained is simply because they are [i]resistant[/i], seeing other kids could be a great motivator.  Kids do learn from each other, you know. You're being obtuse (or just dumb) if you think these parents aren't even attempting to teach their kids to use the toilet. If you're just ignorant, here's your lesson: parents of untrained 4-year-olds are undoubtedly TRYING TO POTTY TRAIN THEIR KIDS. Is there nothing in your parenting experience that your kid picked up or improved upon once exposed to other kids in preschool? You can't think of one example? None? And actually your silverware example could be a good one if you reframe it. If you teach your kid to use silverware, but he's not very adept at it, or he flat out prefers to use his hands, well, hell, watching other kids at preschool use silverware might actually motivate him to use a fork. If you think that type of thing makes you a failure as a parent, oh well. [/quote]

If they have a 4 year old who is not potty trained, I doubt very seriously that they started before or right at age 2 and committed to it. They waited until it was too late and then half-heartedly tried to persuade the child to use a toilet and, not surprisingly, it did not work. I don't think most younger children are "resistant" if you just teach/show them how to do it. Resistance comes when there is a battle of wills (and option not to do what the parent says). It is an entirely different view of potty training that late trainers have. I was the one above who said earlier training involved teaching as opposed to persuading. If you think it is better to let other children teach your child than to do it yourself, that will probably work if he/she is social enough (and this does work for younger siblings). [/quote]

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