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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I have a male friend from high school who is, and has been since he hit puberty, a Major Player. He continued to be a minor player throughout his (shockingly long-lived) marriage and now that he is divorced, he is back in the majors. We have been friends for over 30 years, and I think he is smart and funny and interesting and handsome, but I myself have always been the farthest thing from a player, and I think the player part of him is awful. There was never a time in our friendship when I would have even considered sleeping with him. (I'll fully admit to being judgmental on this score, and he's well aware that I judge him, lol.)

He has seemingly 1000s of friends on FB, many of them women. And I'm sure he's slept with many (most?) of them. Here's the thing: until I read your post, it never occurred to me to wonder whether "Joe" had slept with this or that FB friend. I read what he posts when it's in my feed, I read the replies, but I never stop to wonder, "oh, has he slept with that woman? What about that one?" And I sure as hell have never thought that other people were looking at me on his list of friends and thinking that he had slept with *me*. Lol.

I'm not saying that your BF is like my friend, but rather that even when someone has a looong history of this kind of behavior, people aren't jumping to the kinds of conclusions that you think they are. And even if they were, how are they to know if your BF unfriended the old lovers and only keeps the women friends he didn't sleep with? Will you ask him to make an announcement on FB? Will you proactively tell people as you introduce him? "Cousin Jill, this is my new friend, Jim Smith. If you look him up on FB, you'll see that he has a lot of women friends, but you should know that he's friends only with women he hasn't slept with." Srsly?

I personally think you are much too concerned with what other people think, and also are greatly overestimating how much other people --even people who are inclined to be judgy on this, like me--think about this. But I also think that your concern and overthinking indicates a level of incompatibility with this guy that is going to be hard for you to get past. And it's not going away. He sounds like an outgoing guy who makes friends easily, so even if he unfriended all these women, he will continue to add women friends as he moves thru life and this will continue to dog you.[/quote]

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