Reply to Stay with my underemployed DH for the kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men prefer that you identify the particular issue rather than the situation.  Rather than asking him how the job hunt is going (which is the loaded question), have a discussion with him about his job characteristics.  Tell him that while you understand that he has been working hard, that his choice to work evening and weekends is really hard on you.  [b]Explain that you understand that the tips are better at nights and weekends, but the schedule is very hard and he needs to find alternatives that allow him to be home supporting you and the family at least some of the evenings or weekends.  If he can find a decent bartending job that gives you back some of that time, that's fine or he needs to find an alternative day job.  His choice, but you need him home some evenings and some part of the weekend to help with the household and children.[/b]
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This.  I was reading the post and it sounds like the kids are in childcare or school during the day.  It didn't sound like he was working his shifts during that time nor does he use it to be on top of all the household things. He picks the kids up from school and maybe helps with homework and the you come home and have the kids most evenings plus the weekends.  He had a portable degree with teaching but chose not to keep up with it because it would have been a step back after being an administrator and instead opted for non-family friendly job options that paid less money.  He could have looked into teaching at a private school where the kids could have gotten a tuition discount, looked into the tutoring franchises like Kumon or SSAT prep, been a substitute teacher , looked into a charter school as a teacher etc. He has finally agreed to look into re-certification in teaching.

Look, when I was being laid off, I had to consider how my job decisions impacted my family and discuss options with DH.  Long hours, long commute, travel lots of nights and weekends all have to be weighed against the money and the impact on family.  If that is the ONLY option that can bring in money needed to keep a roof over your head that is one thing, but if you have a choice, it's not fair to unilaterally pick the one that burdens your spouse.   So I'm with PP that you have to be specific with what you need giving him the option how he does it.[/quote]

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